Three Things I've Learned...

The last two weeks have been very busy, so even though I haven't had much time to write, I've had several very "educational" experiences that are worth writing about. Here are a few of the things that I've learned over the last two weeks.

1) There is no night bus to Ulan-Baator.

I came to Russia on a three-month student visa that was supposed to be easily extended once I got here. Ha. My visa, and those of the other two Americans, expired November 12. The university applied for our extensions in early October, but by the time our old visas expired, there were still no new ones in sight - the local immigration office had not even processed the documents that the university had submitted to them in August, let alone ours. Being in Russia without a visa is difficult, to say the least - no traveling, no hotels, and if someone official decides to hassle you, which has been known to happen, you could have a very large problem ending with deportation, which for me could be a career-ender.

Early last week it looked like everything was going to be fine. The immigration service had told the university that our visas should be ready by the end of the week. Kate and I were elated, since both of us were planning trips to Moscow for New Year's that we'd been on the verge of calling off. Things to an abrupt turn for the worse the next day, though when the immigration service told the university that they'd have to send our documents to Moscow for further inspection and verification, and that they might be ready within several weeks. Here, those are pretty chilling words. They made us nervous, and things got worse when we contacted the Fulbright Office in Moscow to get a second opinion. They told us that they were "very concerned" and were contacting the U.S. Embassy to ask for their intervention.

We were sure that we were about to be thrown out of the country. No more work on the dissertations that we're becoming extremely attached to, no more career in Russia, possibly no more fellowship funding. Over scotch and lots of chocolate, I suggested that the only benefit to this would be a tragically romantic bus ride through the night and across the border to Ulan-Baator, Mongolia. Kate burst even this bubble by informing me that there was no night bus to Ulan-Baator.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. I'm not sure I understand what happened, and I'm still a little confused about the "further inspection in Moscow" thing, but the people at the Fulbright Office in Moscow are evidently very persuasive, because they called the immigration service here and within three days, we had our visas. Mine still doesn't have the right date on it, but at least it doesn't end until July 10, so not only can I go to Moscow, I can afford to have my papers sit at the bottom of a pile for months on end.

2) Beauty contestants in Russia are exactly like their American counterparts.

Friday (the night that we got our visas) was the evening of the hotly anticipated Miss and Mr. University 2008 contest. You might be curious how a bunch of college students get selected as beautiful enough to participate in a beauty contest. The answer is that they don't. They volunteer. Or, as we found out later, are bludgeoned into doing so by their parents, many of whom are on the faculty.

The whole affair involved a whole bunch of costume changes (a James Bond spy thing, men in kilts, formal wear, swimming suits, the girls wearing outfits that they thought depicted women in men's occupations - most of them went for the sexy plumber look - and the funniest, the guys in flower costumes). The best part, though, was the question and answer session.

QUESTION: What should Russia do to deal with the problem of orphans?
ANSWER: I think the government should give people more money to adopt, because if people adopt, there won't be so many orphans.

QUESTION: Could you give us a mock tourist ad announcement for Buriatiia?
ANSWER: Welcome to Buriatiia, our lovely republic. The nature here is wonderful, and you should be sure to visit the industrial complex in the south. There are also many rare animals in Buriatiia, including the omul [a fish species unique to Lake Baikal]. The omul is the only fish in the lake.
QUESTION: Really?
ANSWER: Er, no, in the world.

QUESTION: What is the meaning of life?
ANSWER: The meaning of life has three components. The first component is family. As a future mother, I think that family is very important [continues on for a minute or so]. The second component is [actually, I don't remember what the second component was - I was a little bored]. The third component is... A

t this point everyone in the audience starts clapping so that she'll stop talking. This girl was acclaimed as the smartest one in the competition - I guess I'm a little confused, but given the competition.

3) What small-scale Russian pig farming looks like

Last weekend Kate and I went to Tarbagatai, a small town about 40 miles from Ulan-Ude. We'd planned to just spend Saturday walking around, and then come back that evening. On the bus there, we met an extraordinarily gregarious 19-year-old student studying to be an English teacher. She was really excited to get a chance to practice, and also to show us Tarbagatai. She invited us to come over to her family's for dinner. They taught us to make pozy, the local dumpling variation, as well as pelmeni, the more nation-wide dumpling variation, stuffed us so full of meat and dough that we could hardly walk, and then invited us to stay the night, which we did because we were having so much fun (and could hardly walk). Considering that they had to send their sons off to the neighbors' to make room for us (I didn't realize this until later), it was an extraordinarily generous gesture. They raise a few pigs, and in a further extremely generous gesture, sent us home with about six pounds of a national delicacy, salo, or pork fat back with salt and garlic, which neither of us know what to do with and is consequently sitting in my freezer awaiting a more appreciate audience.

PS-when we took this photo (me and Tanya in front of a gate to a cottage in Tarbagatai), it was -10. It's warmer now, but boy does that give me something to look forward to!